


Feeling Blue (But Never in Your Arms)

by stevefuckingbuscemi



Category: Stand By Me (1986)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Sex, Angst, Begging, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-11 05:31:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18423870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevefuckingbuscemi/pseuds/stevefuckingbuscemi
Summary: Their tongues danced, fighting for dominance over the other, and teeth clashed. Chris tasted of cigarettes - cigarettes and chocolate. It was everything that Gordie had wanted for years.





	Feeling Blue (But Never in Your Arms)

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't a requested story but, believe it or not, I am open for requests of any kind! I respect the preferences of everyone-- who am I to tell my sweet readers what to like and not like? Let your freedom run amok, friends, and leave any kind of wild or tame request in my comments!
> 
> But! if not-- try a question, a comment, a suggestion, maybe just a thought or two. Make my writing better with recommendations and constructive criticism! Tell me what I'm doing right with comments! Get to know me or my writing better by asking questions! Don't be a shy reader, I love to hear your beautiful voices!
> 
> Without further ado; a Lachambers story! Enjoy the read, folks!

Nobody cared more than Chris did. He was always there when Gordie needed him most. He seemed to be the only person that knew the right words to calm him down when everything wrong in his life would start to weigh him down, as it always did, no matter how much Gordie tried to be strong and push away the thoughts. Chris always knew what was wrong, he always knew, and he always did whatever he could to protect Gordie - to be Gordie's saving grace. 

This was more than he could say about his own goddamn parents. His mother always tried to get along with him, he could tell, but she always fell too short of being able to care. During the limited amount of time he would talk at the supper table, all he could see in her eyes was sadness where there used to be joy and interest. He didn't blame his mother for this, as she was almost as close to Denny as Gordie had been when he was alive - before he became the 'invisible kid'.

His father, on the other hand, didn't even bother trying to hide his disappointment in Gordie. It wasn't like he really had been before Denny had passed anyway, but he had started to get more clear about it; over time it seemed to be edging on verbal abuse, if it wasn't that already. It was also very clear that his father was at the point where he had to try hard to keep himself from inflicting physical pain on Gordie as well.

Either his father didn't notice the effects it had on Gordie, or he didn't give a shit; Gordie assumed it was the latter - although he had tried many times to convince himself that it wasn't. It wasn't that he didn't hear Gordie crying in his confined bedroom at night (hell, he often did it in the middle of the day even), or didn't notice the spaced-out look of misery in his son's eyes during supper - he just didn't care. It was that fact that hurt Gordie the most.

He couldn't even escape the pain outside of the confines of his home - the 'Cobras' (Ace and his gang) always seemed to be right around the corner, just waiting to give Gordie and his friends trouble. The names Ace would hiss (no pun intended) at him would float around in his mind for hours on end. They were often enough to make Gordie's eyes glassy with oncoming tears, which eventually came cascading down his face time and time again.

Gordie wished he could be strong - he wished he could be like Chris, who would always put aside his problems to comfort Gordie. He wished he could just stop being so goddamn sensitive, because it hurt him even more knowing that Chris was always doing this for him, he felt like such a bother. He knew it would push Chris away eventually, he just knew that his best friend was bound to get tired of Gordie's nonstop bullshit.

But Gordie was weak, he knew it, he knew that he was such a fucking _crybaby_ \- and he knew that hated himself for it.

That's what brought him to this moment in time, with his face stuffed into his soft pillow, that quickly became soaked with the warm tears that seemed to never stop coming. At some point, though Gordie wasn't sure when, the sobbing became almost daily. He knew that the constant crying probably wasn't healthy, but he couldn't stop it. His tears had minds of their own, presenting themselves whenever they wanted and, no matter how much Gordie would try to will them away, they would always find their way down his face at a nearly alarming rate.

No matter how many times it happened, he would always feel disgusted with himself afterwards - disgusted to a point where it made him angry. He would bring his hands up to his burning red face as fast as possible, aggressively pushing the tears from his face and eyes. He hated himself, he had every reason to - he was tiny in every sense of the word, there was no doubt about it. That's not how boys are supposed to be. Boys are supposed to be big and tall so they could play football and date girls; at least this is what his father would remind him of whenever he would 'talk' to him. Dating girls was another part of the problem, as it often occurred to him (and scared him very much) that he had never been attracted to any girls. After making this realization for the first time, he had even tried to get himself to be attracted to girls in his school - but to no avail. What scared him even more was the way he often caught himself thinking about his best friend, Chris. At the age of 16 (going on 17), Gordie had finally admitted to himself that had a crush on this boy of 17 for just over four years. He even found Chris starring in his first wet dream - and every one after that. He would wake up, drenched in sweat, still being able to feel the remnants of his dream's hot imprint of Chris's big hands, gripping his hips and ass. The feeling of Chris's lips pressed against his own. And suddenly, the tears were back and quickly streaming down his face and dripping off his chin. Gordie knew exactly why this happened every time - because he hated himself. 'Why?' he would think, 'why me?'. He hated himself because he was a faggot and he knew it.

He hated himself because he was in love with Christopher Chambers.

The same Christopher Chambers that held him for hours straight when Denny had died, when Gordie came back from the funeral and sobbed into his shoulder. The same Christopher Chambers that always tried his best to protect Gordie from Ace and Eyeball, and shield him from any harm that's directed his way. The same Christopher Chambers that persistently tried to convince Gordie that he was a talented writer, and wouldn't give up until Gordie agreed to take the college courses in junior high. The same Christopher Chambers that could somehow make all of the problems that Gordie was facing go away for just one lovely, carefree moment when he would smile that goddamned smile.

He was abruptly and unfortunately brought back to reality as he acknowledged a small sound at his window, of which he was barely able to hear over his sobs. Today was slightly different from other days, as his parents had gone on a trip to Ohio to visit Gordie's mother's own sister and mother. This meant he could be as loud as he wanted, without feeling the need to contain the wails, though his parents wouldn't care even if they had been home. Without lifting his head from his pillow, Gordie assumed that the noise was only a branch on the tree outside his bedroom's window tapping at it.

_Tap_

_Tap_

At the third goddamn tap, he finally lifted himself from his bed, with the full intention of telling that tree to fuck _off_. He didn't bother to wipe the still-wet tears from his cheeks, which he immediately regretted when he realized that the sound was, of course, Chris _fucking_ Chambers throwing small stones at his window from the branch of the tree he was seated on. Oh. _Oh_. Shit. Chris's face immediately fell from his glowing smile into a concerned look once he caught sight of Gordie's tear-streaked face and watery eyes. _Shit_.

He rushed to the window from his spot on the branch when Gordie began to lift the window with shaking hands, which he then instantly used to paw at the tears on his cheeks and wipe his sniffling nose, frantically trying to clear away the evidence of his sob session. Chris landed in his cramped room as quick as lightning, his hands shooting up to grab Gordie's wrists, gently pulling them away from his face.

"Gordo, hey, what's wrong?" he questioned, concern spilling over every word that left his mouth.

Everything was too overwhelming. Chris seemed to radiate his worry for Gordie, and it made Gordie's heart sink knowing that his love for him would never be requited. He immediately recognized the stinging of his eyes as oncoming tears, of course, and he used all the willpower he had to try his hardest to get them to gothefuck _away_ because now is not the _time_ for this, goddammit.

Chris must've noticed the tears forming in the corners of his eyes, as he quickly released his grip on Gordie's tiny wrists in favor of wrapping his arms around Gordie's middle and holding him close. Gordie instantly threw his arms up and around Chris's neck to grip the back of the hem of his shirt as tight as he could. He let his head fall onto Chris's chest, allowing him to be consumed by the comforting smell of cigarettes mixed with Chris's shitty dollar store cologne, which he would mind on anyone else but, since it reminded him of Chris, it was Gordie's favourite scent. He felt one of Chris's hands come up to run through Gordie's soft brown hair, eventually coming to stroke the back of his head in an attempt to stop Gordie's crying.

"Hey, shh, it's okay- you're okay. I'm here," he consoled, once Gordie's soft crying grew to be loud sobs into Chris's chest, and Gordie's whole body began to shiver in Chris's arms. His hands gripped Chris's shirt impossibly tighter than before.

This continued for awhile, Chris's hand eventually moving from his hair to rub his back until Gordie's crying turned into tiny sniffles and hiccups, and the occasional little whimper.

"You okay, man?" Chris asked, concern still laced in his voice, making Gordie feel bad for making him feel that way once again.

Gordie tried his best to nod from his position with his face pressed close into Chris's chest. Then, Chris pressed a small but lasting kiss to the top of Gordie's head, and Gordie's whole world came to an abrupt stop around him. _What_. He felt his face grow to an embarrassing shade of red, and his lifted his head to look at Chris so fast that, if he did it any faster, he would be willing to bet that his neck would have snapped. Gordie's eyes, which had grown to be the size of saucers, looked up into Chris's, whose eyes had adopted their own look of fear. He could see them quickly flick down from Gordie's eyes to his slightly parted lips. Gordie then realized that, just a minute ago, he had unintentionally licked his lips and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, which was probably what had drawn Chris's attention to them.

Without warning, Chris quickly pressed his lips to Gordie's, but what surprised Gordie most was how soft he kissed him. It was hesitant, almost as if to ask, 'is this alright?'. But, _God_ , it was so much more than alright. It was fucking magical, and Gordie never wanted it to end. Of course, as soon as he thought that, Chris slowly pulled away. Gordie continued to chase Chris's lips with his own as Chris continued to pull back, just to be a fucking _tease_.

"Someone's a little desperate," he smiled, chuckling when Gordie stuck out his bottom lip in a dramatic pout.

"Bite me," Gordie's eyes narrowed and he pulled back to look at Chris easier.

"Oh yeah?" Chris quirked an amused eyebrow, "What're you gonna do about it, half pint?"

"Oh, you're asking for it now, asshole," he beamed, "You die, Chambers!"

Gordie jumped as high as he could and jumped on Chris, in an attempt to tackle him to the ground. With him being a mere 5'6, with Chris standing at 6' even, even Gordie knew that he didn't even really have a chance.

A humiliating squeak escaped Gordie's lips when Chris casually tossed the smaller teen over his shoulder and began walking the short distance to the room's only bed. Gordie, of course, didn't let up without a fight, as he started thrashing around in Chris's arms in an attempt to escape his hold.

"Put me down, you wet end! Chambers, I swear to _Go-_ ," he was cut off by his own yelp as Chris used Gordie's legs to pull him off his shoulder, quite nearly throwing him onto Gordie's creaky bed. Within less than a second, the younger teen was tackled onto the bed in his failed attempt to get back at Chris.

They wrestled around on the confined bed for what seemed like forever to Gordie, as he had just realized that this was how one of his most memorable Chris-based wet dreams had initiated. Once this memory had entered his mind for the briefest moment, he couldn't get it to leave again. The dream seemed to consume him once again, and soon all he could think about was the look that Chris had had in his eyes when he lifted Gordie's hips to slowly, teasingly pull down the boy's light jeans before doing the same with his briefs. Gordie tried so hard to let his mind wander again before he could get any further, but suddenly he was reminded of the feeling of Chris's big hands gripping his waist, feeling the tip of Chris's cock against his stretched entrance before he began to carefully push in-

Reality snapped back to Gordie when, to his own horror, Chris pinned his arms above his head. He knew that there was no way he could escape the vice-like grip the (much) stronger teen had on him. Gordie's eyes became impossibly wider with fear, as a pool of arousal filled his abdomen, causing a tent to begin taking form in his pants. He was mortified.

Oh God, not now, _please_ not now, he begged his body and his mind. But it wasn't helping that Chris's clothed cock was dangerously close to coming in contact with Gordie's own. It was pressed against the younger's thigh, and Gordie came to the quick conclusion that he must've been hallucinating when he thought that Chris was sporting his own almost-hard-on.

"Hello? Earth to Lachance," Chris laughed, his smile instantly giving Gordie a little sliver of hope - but at least it was something.

"Huh?"

Chris's expression became less joking and turned a little more serious when he simply stated, "You looked... I'm not sure what word to use. Scared, maybe," his voice softened, "Is something up, Gordo?"

"Yeah-" Chris's eyebrows shot up, questioning him, and he quickly released the grip he had on Gordie's wrists. "I mean no- no, everything's fine, I'm fine. I just..." Gordie's eyes drifted to look anywhere that wasn't Chris's face, which unintentionally led him to look down to the space between them, immediately taking notice of the slight bulge showing through both his own and his best friend's jeans. " _Shit_..."

A thumb and forefinger, which he found to belong to the teenager on top of him, gripped Gordie's chin and pushed his head up to see his face. Their lips were connected within mere seconds, and it was everything Gordie wanted in that moment - it was heated and desperate and it made him want _more_ , he wanted so much more. The tongue sliding over his bottom lip asked for entrance, which he allowed without any hesitation. Their tongues danced, fighting for dominance over the other, and teeth clashed. Chris tasted of cigarettes - cigarettes and chocolate. Gordie wasn't aware of the small, needy whimpers he was releasing into the kiss, or when he had brought his hands up to twist into Chris's plain white tee. Chris parted them once again (far too early, in Gordie's opinion) but he was still close, close enough so their lips were still connected by a string of saliva and their noses could touch.

"How far do you want to take this?" Chris whispered, quiet to a point where Gordie almost didn't notice that he was asking him something. Gordie didn't want to let Chris know how far he actually wanted to go - he just knew that, if he did, Chris would pull off completely and never speak to him again. There was no way in a million years he would risk losing his best friend for the sake of possibly getting fucked by him... he did _really_ want Chris to fuck him though - just like how he'd always fantasized.

"How far do _you_ want to take this?" Gordie asked, using Chris's own question against him and choosing to take the more non-risky route.

"I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything you're not comfortable with doing, Gordie. I care about you too much to let that happen," Chris looked serious as ever, and Gordie knew that Chris would never lie to him about something like this.

Gordie sighed. "But... i-it's _embarrassing_ , Chris... I don't wanna say it... please, _please_ don't make me say it," he whined - he didn't care what he sounded like at this point, he didn't even care that he was practically begging. There was no way Gordie was about to tell Chris that he wants him to fuck him. Absolutely no way.

Chris started to pull away entirely, but he was only stopped by the small hands that started to accumulate an even tighter grip on the front of Chris's shirt, tugging him down to get him to stay.

"If you want it-" Chris paused to bring a hand up to grip Gordie's cock through his now-tight jeans, drawing a gasp then a breathy, high-pitched moan from the smaller teen, "- _that bad_ , you're gonna have to learn to ask for it," he smirked. Honestly - Gordie kind of wanted to punch him right now.

"Eat lead."

"Oh?"

"That's right, Chambers. We both know you want this just as much as I do," Gordie bucked up into the Chris's hand that was still palming at the tent in his pants, and presented a little smirk of his own when Chris brought his bottom lip between his own teeth.

Then, the smirk was wiped off Gordie's face when Chris removed all physical contact they had with each other in one swift movement, standing up from the bed and turning to look down at the other teen, who was still bucking up his hips in search for friction - and receiving none.

"Honestly, Gordo, we both know that I could easily just jack off with a warm shower, but you-" he shook his head and tutted, "- _need_ me. All you have to do is say it, baby-"

Gordie had finally been pushed to his limit. " _Fuck me!_ You're right, Chris, I need you, please, fuck me, _pl_ -"

Chris was back on him in an instant, pressing their bodies impossibly close to one another, one hand gripping his waist and one his hip, lips sucking and biting and kissing all over Gordie's neck. Gordie would be lying if he said that this wasn't the best feeling in the world - it was all he's ever wanted and more. Chris began to explore his body, one slipping under his too-big sweater to feel every inch of skin he could reach while the other continued to hold down Gordie's hip as if the other boy would float away if he let go.

Before he knew what was happening, Gordie's cable-knit sweater was pushed up all the way and there was a warm tongue circling his nipple.

" _Oh_ \- fuck, Chris-" Gordie's hands shot up to tangle into Chris's hair, tugging the dirty blonde locks as he turned into a whimpering, moaning mess.

He had never imagined that this would be how he would lose his virginity. Gordie had always dreaded when the time would've come, when he would've ended up losing it to some girl from some lame house party he was dragged to, one who was too drunk to notice how not interested he was (and the other way around), one who seemed to be drenched in an awful perfume and caked with shaky makeup, like all the girls in Castle Rock. Well, the ones who would stoop so low as to shack up with someone like Gordie La-fucking-chance. He pictured it being sloppy and awkward, neither of them really knowing what do or say.

But _this_ \- this was so much better than any scenario he thought actually possible. The boy he had loved and lusted after for over four years on top of him, who Gordie was showing a side of himself that he'd never shown to anyone else before. He could trust Chris, trust him to keep this secret, and trust him to take care of him the entire way through it and after. He wouldn't leave without a word, never seeing him again. Chris was also hot, he was really fucking hot and the way he was dominating Gordie sent shivers down the younger teen's spine.

Chris lifted the dark green sweater over Gordie's head, dropping it onto the floor beside the very-much occupied bed. He immediately continued his teasing of the buds on Gordie's chest, licking, sucking and biting them. At one point he had even taken one between his teeth and gently tugging on it, pulling a drawn-out moan followed by whimpering from Gordie. To his surprise and Chris's delight, he was finding it incredibly difficult to stay quiet.

"God, you make the prettiest sounds," Chris mumbled, before abandoning his chest to leave a trail of red-purple bruises down his stomach leading to the waistband of his jeans. He looked up to Gordie's face, gripping his hips tight and chuckling when he noticed the effect that his comment had on Gordie, taking in the bright red colour that spread from his face to his neck and shoulders. He brought one hand up to hover over the button and zipper on Gordie's pants. "Is this okay?"

Gordie only nodded in response, but Chris stayed still, looking into Gordie's round eyes and quirking an expectant brow when Gordie bucked up into his hand, egging him on to no avail.

"Gotta use your words, Lachance. Is this okay?" he repeated, palming at the other's hard-on.

"Yes! Please, want it so bad, please," Gordie pleaded, the teasing really beginning to take its toll on the boy. His erection had started to grow painful, which could have been due to the teasing or his sensitivity, but it still caused tears to sting the corners of his eyes. He didn't tease himself nearly this much when he would touch himself.

Chris helped Gordie to lift his thin, shaky legs in order to pull the restricting jeans from his body. A mischievous grin consumed Chris's expression when his eyes landed on the wet patch that had appeared on the other's briefs before he stuck out his tongue, licking a long, thick stripe over it.

" _Sh-it_ ," Gordie gasped, "Chris, please... need it, need _you_ , please."

"Be patient," he replied simply, disregarding the boy's begging to resume his godawful teasing, laying little kisses on the stomach, hips, and inner thighs below him. Without looking up from his activities, he pulled up the waistband of Gordie's underwear with one finger before releasing it, allowing it to return to its original place on the smaller teen's hip with a loud _snap_. Gordie yipped, followed by another high-pitched moan.

After what seemed to be fucking _forever_ to Gordie, Chris finally quit his teasing (at least for the time being) and pulled the white briefs off Gordie's body, exposing all of the lower half of the teen below him. Chris's eyes scanned every inch of the newly exposed skin with what Gordie assumed to be rapture, maybe even in a possessive manner. It made Gordie feel vulnerable and a little embarrassed, being put on display for Chris's prying eyes while said teen was still fully clothed. His self-consciousness began to show unintentionally when he pressed his legs closer together and started bending his knees up in an attempt to cover himself at least a little bit.

Pushing Gordie's back legs apart, Chris muttered, "Fucking gorgeous, Gordie, you're so pretty."

A dark blush covered Gordie's cheeks instantly, and he couldn't keep a small, breathy moan from escaping his parted lips. He wrapped his small hands around the hem of Chris's shirt and pulled, failing to get it over his head. "You still have all your clothes on," he pouted, drawing a chuckle from the taller boy.

"Whatever you want, sweetheart," he smirked and pulled the shirt from his body, discarding it to some random corner of the small room. Gordie jaw dropped open a bit and he couldn't stop himself from staring in awe because _holy shit,_ the last time he had seen Chris without a shirt on was last summer, and he definitely didn't have a _six-pack_ last summer. Gordie couldn't imagine heaven being any better than this.

" _Fuck me_ ," he whispered under his breath, using it figuratively, but realizing that he really wouldn't mind if Chris took it literally.

That stupid, tantalizing smirk never left Chris's face. "That was the plan. Catch up, Lachance."

"Go screw," Gordie huffed back hurriedly, eager to get back to the main task at hand.

"Didn't I just explain this? Wow, how slow are you, Gordo?"

" _Chris_ ," he whined and bucked his hips up, done with Chris's joking - if there wasn't at least a finger in his ass in the next ten minutes, Chambers would never hear the end of it.

Chris chuckled again, clearly enjoying being a tease, "Fine, fine. Do you have any lube or condoms?"

Gordie's face visibly brightened at the mention of the objects, assuming it meant they would get somewhere _finally_. "Lube's in the top left drawer of my dresser, under all the socks and underwear. Don't have condoms though. My parents probably took theirs with them."

Chris reached one arm behind himself to his back pocket, "Ah! You're in luck, Lachance," he held up a wrapped condom with an expression that could only be described as gratitude.

"Well, well. Looks like you had some plans, Chambers," Gordie teased with the most shit-eating grin plastered to his face. His expression instantly changed from taunting to nervous, and he gulped when he realized the size on the condom read _Large_.

"Maybe I did. But it doesn't look like you have any objections, does it, Lachance?" he taunted right back, grinding down and drawing a moan from the teen underneath him before Gordie could respond.

The older of the two removed himself from Gordie once again, eliciting a whine of protest from said boy, to retrieve the lube. Gordie felt his face heat up when, after rummaging around in the mentioned drawer for less than a minute, Chris held up a pair of very-revealing baby blue, _lace_ panties that he had stumbled upon, raising a questioning but very amused eyebrow in Gordie's direction. Shit _shit_ shit, Gordie had forgotten about those - he didn't feel like explaining how he had managed to obtain them because, frankly, it was an extremely embarrassing story. He only felt his face heat even more after the memory crossed his mind once again, looking down to avoid Chris's prying gaze.

"Well, I hope you know that you're gonna have to wear these for me eventually holy _shit,_ baby," Chris's eyes, the shorter noticed despite the distance between them, became consumed by a hunger and lust that caused a shiver to run down Gordie's spine. He bit his lip at the thought of Chris fucking him in the panties, his breathing becoming more labored and his cheeks growing a brighter shade of red after every second that passed. If he was being completely honest, it wasn't the first time he had imagined it, but it was the thought that it was a legitimate possibility now that racked his body with an even greater sense of arousal.

Chris turned back to the task at hand, continuing his quick, motivated search for the lube. "Aha!" he exclaimed before holding the bottle up for Gordie and himself to view, as if it were some prized possession of his. Chris smirked when he realized it was halfway empty. "Looks like someone's been having some fun. Isn't that right, angel?"

Gordie could, again, feel his face grow beet red, and he looked down to try to hide that fact from the other teen. "Shut up," he mumbled, and a smile appeared on his flushed face, despite his internal protest against it.

"Could it be? Is that a blush I see on the face of Gordon _Lachance_? Unbelievable. _Stunning_ ," the older boy mocked as he made his way back to the bed, resuming his position on top of the other. He began to lay more open-mouthed kisses all over Gordie's neck and collarbone, successfully distracting the panting teen below him from from the audible _pop_ of the lube's cap opening. Chris, however, couldn't entirely distract him from the cold, lube-covered finger that started to prod at his entrance just moments later. Gordie let out a sudden gasp, clearly not expecting the chill touch. 

Chris searched the boy's face, looking for any signs of discomfort that arose. "Hey, is this okay?"

"Yeah, use my fingers all the time, just wasn't expecting it. Cold too, 's really cold," Gordie breathed out quickly, his nails unconsciously digging into the skin of Chris's shoulders and back.

The blue eyes of the boy on top of him seemed to dilate even more, and they looked the smaller of the two up and down with what seemed to Gordie to be hunger. "God, that'd be so damn hot to watch, Jesus, Gordo."

Those were exactly the kind of words that brought a prominent, burning blush to Gordie's face and a cocky smirk to Chris's. This time, however, those actions were cut short when the cocky teen pushed his finger into Gordie's hole in a single swift movement. Chris grew even more smug with the sudden expression of both surprise and pleasure that the action brought to his lover's face. Gordie began to writhe around in his place on the cramped bed, only being held down partially by the firm grip Chris's hand had on his slender hip.

The finger started its movements slow, stretching the warm hole as much as it could by itself. Chris, sensing Gordie's impatience by the way he was pushing himself down onto the other's finger, added a second finger along with the first. He stretched him out efficiently, using a scissoring motion and curling his fingers around until he hit the sweet spot - the younger teen's eyes shot open, his back arched up and off the bed, and he gasped before letting out a series of sinful moans and whines.

"Found it," Chris grinned, purposefully hitting that spot over and over again, turning Gordie into a squirming, howling mess.

"Chris, f-fuck-" he sobbed, "c-cut it out, Chris, fuck me" Chris only kept repeating the motion, eventually adding a third finger to accompany the other tantalizing two. "Stop, 'm really close, _pl-ease_ "

"Just 'cause you ask so nicely."

Suddenly Gordie felt the fingers pulling out of his ass, and he whined in protest, feeling far too empty after being pushed this close to the edge. As he was just about to begin throwing a fit, he was interrupted by the familiar crinkling of the condom wrapper, but this time it was being ripped open swiftly. He watched in anticipation (and an irritating, persistent sense of fear that had been lurking in the back of his mind) as Chris unzipped the fly on his blue jeans, quickly pulling them down to his mid-thighs and reaching inside his own briefs to pull out the thing that Gordie had been dying to see for a long time.

And it was a lot bigger than he expected, holy _shit_.

"Like what you see, Lachance?"

Gordie could hear the familiar, amused smirk in the other teen's voice, and felt an even more familiar warmness rising to his face. Chris had caught him staring at his fucking _dick,_ oh my _god_ (he even took notice of the humiliating drool that began to roll from Gordie's mouth, the older of them wiping it off before it reached his chin).

"Yes, god, yes. And if it's not in my ass within the next 20 fucking seconds," he cautioned, "I will rip it off with my own _fucking_ teeth."

"Fat chance, Lachance"-Gordie scowled-"just wait until I get myself lubed up, baby, then," Chris leaned in until there was practically no space between them and lowered his voice to a whisper, "I'm gonna fucking _wreck_ you."

With that promise, the confident, demanding demeanor of the boy below him had crumbled - he was left with nothing more than needy pleads and whimpers. Chris was loving it, but he couldn't continue to ignore the painful hard-on between his legs, especially with an incredibly hot and bothered Gordie writhing underneath him.

The taller teen connected their lips in another passionate kiss, saliva mixing and tongues searching. The clicking of a cap could be heard for a second time that night, but this time it meant that there was no going back now. And holy shit did that scare Gordie. He had been pushing back the ever so relentless feeling of anxiety that kept presenting itself to Gordie since they started to get intimate - but there was no use in trying to push it back now, because the feeling wouldn't budge.

Gordie's breathing steadily became more and more labored, and his palms sweatier, after every passing moment. He had so badly hoped that it would fade before Chris could take notice of it. But alas, his wishes never seemed to come true.

"Hey, Gordo," Chris's eyes scanned over his heaving chest all the way up to meet his frightened eyes, concern washing over the arousal in his blue eyes, "are you okay? What's wrong, love?"

A thumb began to caress Gordie's cheek, the other hand rising from his hip to his hair to run fingers through the dark locks. Soft, gentle lips started to press kisses to his cheeks, nose, forehead, eyelids, temples. The actions made him feel safe - safe from everything that was hurting him when he wasn't in Chris's arms, whether it was mentally or physically. It made him realize that, no matter how much the following activities may hurt him, it wouldn't hurt in a bad way. It wouldn't hurt in a bad way, because he had his best friend to help him through it, and whatever would come after it. It wasn't some mindless fuck between two clueless teenagers and he was confident in that, because he knew how much Chris cared about him.

"Forget it," he let out a shaky breath, "I wanna do this. I want you, Chris."

Chris still appeared to be worried. "Are you sure?"

"Did I fucking stutter?"

In one very quick movement, Gordie's hands were back above his head, both of his skinny wrists being pinned down by one strong, weather-beaten hand. Wide eyes met roguish ones, as the arousing look of hunger resurfaced in Chris's eyes. "Man, you're just asking for it now."

Gordie's surprise was very quickly replaced by lust; "Fuck me so hard I won't be able to walk for weeks."

"Well - who am I to deny you what you want?"

Suddenly, the smaller teen felt the head of Chris's covered and lubed cock pushing against his tight entrance. Once it finally pushed through the ring, Gordie realized his fingers were _nothing_ compared to this because, oh Lord, even just the tip made him feel fuller than he ever had before.

Chris's movements came to a halt inside him, waiting for him to get used to the feeling - and the initial sting. His fingertips were tracing soothing patterns into the skin of Gordie's bony hip, the other hand stroking his cheek. His pink, teasing lips were leaving open-mouthed but tender kisses along the other's jaw, until they met Gordie's own in a steamy kiss. It was fortunately succeeding in distracting the boy from the pain of being opened this much, and it had even began to fade already (for now).

"R-Ready for more now" Gordie assured when their lips parted.

Smaller hands gripped desperately at robust shoulders, as the owner of said shoulders began to push in further, making sure to stay at a slow and careful pace. He reached around halfway this time, before noting the pained expression that arose on Gordie's face and stopping again. "Are you okay, baby? Do you want me to stop?"

His face was scrunched and red, his teeth coming dangerously close to tearing the skin of his bottom lip and his breathing getting more irregular. "N- _ah_ -No pl-please don't, jus' gimme a minute."

"'Course, sunshine."

Many moments had passed, but Chris stayed ever so patient with Gordie, consoling him through the stinging that followed every time he pushed in just the slightest bit further. Once he had finally reached the all-the-way point, he saw how tense the boy beneath him had become. His toes clenched the bed sheets, his hands doing the same with Chris's broad shoulders. Gordie also unconsciously began to constrict around the cock that was inside him. With that, Chris let out an audible groan, instinctively rolling his hips against Gordie's ass.

This time, it was the other who moaned. His eyes shot open instantly - he was taken by surprise, but he realized that also felt _really_ good. Without Chris moving, Gordie hadn't been able to feel how much goddamn pleasure was going to come after all the pain, and holy fucking hell he didn't know how long he'd be able to last like this.

"Can I keep moving?" Gordie could only nod with evident desperation in response, even pushing his hips back in search of more.

Chris began to pull out and, deciding to take a risk, didn't stop until he was out to the hilt. In response to the other teen's look of confusion, he pushed all the way back in again in one swift motion. A loud, pleasured cry erupted from Gordie's lips - and Chris thanked God that the Lachance parents were out of town, because he was sure they'd've been so screwed if they weren't.

He continued to pull out and push back in again, eventually picking up a rhythm. Gordie's noise level never lessened - he had become even more of a sweaty mess, his hair impossibly disheveled on his head, his wails ringing in Chris's ears every time he would thrust back into him. Chris could still remember where the spot was that drove the smaller teen absolutely wild, but he wanted to wait until the exact right moment to use the knowledge.

"C-Chr-is," he sobbed, "I don't- I don't think I can- _gah!_ Touch me, ple-ase."

Now, Chris decided, was that moment. Instead of taking heed of Gordie's plea, he adjusted his position slightly, allowing for the perfect angle to hit his prostate head-on. The other boy wasn't aware of what Chris was trying to do, until he slammed back into him with far more force than he had been using before - right into the intended spot.

A broken scream filled the room, and Gordie's eyes squeezed shut, his lips forming a small "o" shape as he released all over his own hickey-covered stomach. And, _shit_ , if that wasn't the hottest thing Chris had ever seen then he had no clue what was.

With that image playing over and again in Chris's mind, he continued plunging into a thoroughly fucked-out Gordie beneath him, who whimpered with sensitivity. Just a few thrusts later, Chris came inside the condom with a moan on his lips.

"God, baby, you're so fucking hot."

He collapsed onto the skinny boy underneath him, pressing kisses to the soft skin where his face was buried in Gordie's neck in an attempt to bring him down from his high.

It worked. Gordie let out a breathy but adorable giggle. "Yeah, says the one with the washboard _abs_ , shit, Chris, that's so _hot_."

"Got 'em for you, Gordo," he said, tucking himself back in and zipping up before lifting himself from the bed and a pouting Gordie to retrieve the white tee he had discarded. Chris returned and sat on the edge of the bed, but turned to the perfect boy and began to clean the sticky substance from his stomach, chest, and where it had dripped down his thighs from his empty hole.

"Really?" the other teen looked up at him, astonished, and pretty damn confused. "I mean - me? Why are you into _me_? Hell, not that I'm complaining of course. Y'know what, just, forget I said anyth-" Chris cut him off when he pressed his lips to Gordie's in a gentle, loving kiss.

Chris, for the second time that evening, aimlessly threw his shirt somewhere on the floor of the bedroom. He leaned over for a quick second to grab the younger's oversized sweater from the floor, motioning for Gordie to lift his arms so he could slip it back onto him. And, fuck, Chris thought it looked even more adorable on him now (if that was possible), as he looked entirely worn out, his hair unkempt and his neck scattered with reddish-purple bruises. Even the way the huge sweater engulfed his smaller body, reaching all the way down to his mid-thighs, sent a feeling of fondness throughout the entirety of Chris. He crawled over an insecure Gordie to settle beside the teen, who cuddled into his side, pressing his cheek to Chris's bare chest and tangling his slim legs with muscular ones.

"Because," he pressed a tender kiss to Gordie's brown hair, "You're so smart and talented, how you can make up all those amazing stories like it's nothing. And when you're telling them your eyes light up and you get this huge smile on your face because it makes you so happy and, fuck, if that's not the cutest thing ever. _You're_ the cutest thing ever, you're so beautiful. Christ, Gordo, it'd be impossible to name every reason I want to be with you 'cause there are _so many_ , but I promise I will someday if you'll let me. 'Cause I love you, Gordie, _God_ , I've loved you for so long."

Chris had been talking so much that he hadn't noticed when one heavy, warm tear had dropped onto his chest. Oh shit, he said something he shouldn't've. Oh _shit_ , Gordie didn't love him back, he should've known, all they had done was fuck and Chris had let himself get his hopes up. _God_ , why did Chris have to have such a big mouth? He was so fucking stupid, and now Gordie was going to kick his ass to the curb for good and try his best to forget about what used to be his best friend.

He was so wrapped up in his own panic, he hadn't realized that Gordie slowly lifted his tear-streaked face from its place on Chris's chest until their lips were connected. Gordie kissed him sweetly, trying to express into the kiss what he couldn't with just words. Because, what Chris didn't know was that, for the first time in a _long_ time, Gordie was crying tears of euphoria, and not those of misery. When they parted, Chris looked up at the other with furrowed brows.

"I love you too, Chris. So much."

And suddenly Gordie was pulled back down against Chris, as the other engulfed him in a giant bear hug, and Gordie giggled into Chris's neck. They stayed like that for maybe ten minutes, though, to Gordie, it seemed to be hours, before they returned to their earlier position but pressed impossibly closer to one another.

That's how they feel asleep, wrapped in each other's arms, knowing that, one day, they would run away together with their sweaty hands fused between them, to somewhere far away from the troubles they left behind in the small town of Castle Rock, Oregon.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah gee, oh man; I really didn't mean for this to be almost 7.5k words, my apologizes! Please let me know if you enjoyed my first ever published work... and smut; I've never written one before but I hope it wasn't too hard to read! Leave kudos if you wish, and drop any thoughts or feelings or requests or questions or _anything_ you'd like to share with me in the comments and not _one_ will go unread! Constructive criticism is more than welcome, but no unwarranted negativity whatsoever! Respect the positive environment please, friends!
> 
> Peace, my amazing readers; remember to show kindness and love wherever you may go! Thank you so much!


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